Journal 2 · March 1st 2021 by Alan Maxcy

I love my son. My love grows for him each day. I feel old saying this, but I don't know where the time goes. I really don't. When your parents tell you that it feels like you were just a baby, it can be hard to believe. "It feels like I blinked and you were a teenager", my mom says. My son turned 1 year old in January, so still far from a teenager, but it did seem to go by very quickly. I ask him to not grow up almost every day – he doesn't appear to be interested in that idea. I chose to take a photo of Eli every day for the month of February to try to slow down his growth. To not let days go by without cherishing his sweet little smile. 

I believe in God's authority, foreknowledge, and purposeful sovereignty in this world. This means I believe that God chose me to be Elijah's father. And because He is God, and outside of time, He did this before the foundation of the world! It's hard to get your mind wrapped around. But God is a personal God. He does actually know us. Before He formed you in the womb He knew you. Even the hairs of your head are all numbered. God is remarkably involved in the smallest, and largest, details of our lives. 

I feel a tremendous amount of responsibility to love Elijah well and to raise him in a way that reflects God's sacrificial love for him. Life can become so busy and burdensome that we neglect what is most important in our lives. I try to be thankful for every small moment I get with Eli. Even in the midst of a global pandemic I have been so blessed to have more time to spend at home with my son. I don't want to squander this time with him. Time is fleeting. Like fog in the early morning – here one moment, and then it's gone. We can't get more time. It is not a renewable resource. That is why we must make the most of every opportunity, for the days are evil.